Tuesday, January 10, 2012

wondering

To the bravest woman I know:

sweet joya This is a unique day in our paths, for I am certain that we are both wondering similar things today about the same special little girl that neither of us are able to be with.  Are you wondering what our sweet two year old girl looks like?  Are you wondering if she will get a party today or open any presents?

Are you sharing my questions about her care and if she knows that she is an orphan?  Do you have any suspicions about what her future holds?

Are you remembering the moment you realized that she could not be yours forever?  I wonder about you all the time.   I wonder if you knew her fate before you gave birth, or whether upon holding her in your arms your tears fell because her gender or medical needs forced you to give her up.

Are you picturing the day you wrapped her tiny body in a blanket, placed her in a paper box, tucked a note with her information beside her, and kissed her goodbye?  I'm wondering if you watched from afar as she was found on the doorstep you left her on.  Did you ever walk by the orphanage hoping to catch a glimpse of her?

I'm certain that you are wondering about me as well.  Was your written request for someone to adopt her fulfilled?  Where is she in the world?  Does she have siblings?  Medical care?  Parents that kiss and cuddle her?  A warm bed?  A limitless future?

Whatever the reasons were for leaving her that day, I wish you could know that I think you are brave and I am grateful that you gave her life.  Whatever the reasons were that prevented you from being her forever mommy, I wish you could know that you will never be forgotten.

Because, although we can't celebrate with her either today, we will be with her soon and plan to celebrate many, many birthdays with her.  We will tell her what we know and as she grows, give her the freedom and opportunities to learn all she can about her beginnings.

We will fulfill your request to adopt her and heal her and open the lid to her future so that she can make whatever she wants of it.  We pray that she grows up to make a difference in the lives of others and make the world better, giving glory to the one who knitted her together in your womb.

My heart is tied to yours today as we wish Joya a happy birthday from much too far away.

Forever grateful,
Laurie

6 comments:

Candis Daugherty said...

That's simply beautiful, my friend. I love your heart.

km said...

Tears for both of us today. There's no way to describe the connection and gratitude and heartbreak you feel for your child's birthmother. Your letter to her is beautiful, and I guess we have to trust our God to be somehow communicating to these women's hearts that their children are safe and so very loved!

Grandma Jellybean said...

So poignant and beautiful at the same time, Sweetheart. I feel your emotions today and also can't imagine the pain of having to abandon a child of mine. Joya's mother truly was brave to give her the chance for a better life. Can't wait for her arrival in her Mommy for Life's arms.

Julie Thompson said...

Happy Birthday Joya! You are about to receive one of the best gifts of all ... a wonderful family (and amazing mom)!

Maureen said...

What a beautiful letter! Cannot wait to wait to follow your journey! Will keep you posted on diagnosis of Our sweet Molly.

me said...

Eva loves to act out Bible stories after we read them, and yesterday it was the story of baby Moses... she asked me if Joya's mom put her in a basket too. I had never thought of it that way, but her feelings were probably much the same as Moses' mother...

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