Click for PART ONE.
Click for PART TWO.
A sign, a sign, a sign. "God please give us a sign, whether it be a green light or red one. A wide open doorway, or a closed vault door with an impossible lock. Most of all, give us eyes to see the sign. Give us faith to believe that you're sending it. Increase our faith in the process."
As if God had not already dealt with us GENEROUSLY where our faith lacked in the financial aspect of this process, now we were asking Him to step in and speak to us specifically about this precious little girl.
Our couples' small group prayed with us for a sign. My sister prayed for a sign. My brother prayed for a sign. I honestly lacked faith that we would see the sign or accept it as coming from God.
Isn't it funny that the Bible tells us Gideon asked for a sign in Judges chapter six though eight and how, when God gave him one, he wasn't satisfied. He asked for another.
We are no different. We believe God is there, but it is so easy to question Him at every turn.
When the updated pictures of Mrs. Nesbit came to us, again my Beloved was out of state. I texted him that the pictures were in his email inbox and he later told me that he was standing in the jetway waiting for his gate-checked suitcase, so he booted up his laptop so he could see her immediately.
When he called me later in the day, I asked him if he looked at the pictures and he responded that he did and he thought they were great.
"No.... Was it yellow?" he responded.
"Yup." I answered with a giggle.
'It's a sign! It's a sign!' I wanted to scream and shout. I wanted to hear my husband say, "Wow, that's clearly the sign. God knows about our passion for the YELLOW CAR! game. What may seem ordinary to others, stands out to our family. We're good to go!"
But that was all in my head. I knew that it was not my place to be the Holy Spirit in my husband's life and identify the sign for him. So, I simply smiled and moved on in our conversation.
We waited for another few days to see if that x-ray would come through, but it never did.
One night Kenyon was sitting on the couch looking through the new pictures on his laptop when Sauce walked behind him and peeked over his shoulder. Our nine year-old son had no idea he was possibly looking at his little sister. He blurted out one thing.
"YELLOW CAR!" (smile) Then he walked away. He never even asked who was in the picture.
The next Sunday night we were climbing into bed for the night. It was late (well, 10:30 is late for me) and I was going to read a couple pages of my current book and then get some shut eye. I had a very busy Monday coming up and I was exhausted.
My Beloved had other plans. He put his pillow by my feet and told me he wanted to talk. I said sure, and had a feeling this would be about Mrs. Nesbit. I was right.
"How do you feel about all this?" he asked.
"How do you feel?" I said, purposely turning it around on him.
"I feel like you're shutting me out. Why haven't you been talking to me about her?" he answered.
I then explained that I had been intentionally silent, letting him process the situation we were in and the decision we faced. In a conversation that took another hour, we faced that decision together.
Kenyon said a couple of things that stand out in my memory. He told me that he heard a quote by Colin Powell that said something like, "If you can't make a decision on 70% of the information, you'll never be able to make the decision."
He also explained that he had come to the realization that his struggle is with wanting control. He accepted that this was a decision we would have to make with gaps in the information.
AND that he took note of the yellow motorcycle. Smile.
"I'm in." is how he summed it up as he positioned his pillow back into the rightful place at the top of the bed.
"What? Did we just make a decision?" I asked with a trembling voice.
"I don't know if you did, but I did." he answered with a smirk.
Oh my word. The moment passed me by and I didn't even realize it was happening. "AAAHHHH! Can I call my sister?" was the first thing out of my mouth. It was 11:30 in Utah and my sister works the night shift as a nurse in the Chicago suburbs.
Smiling, he said, "Sure, but don't you think we should name her first?"
We knew all along what her first name would be. Joya was our favorite girl's name for several babies now. No one knew that though because I never said it out loud to anyone but my husband in all those years.
We took all of two minutes to settle on Christine as her middle name. Christine is my sister's middle name. Amy is my only sister and my best friend.
Less than a minute after that, I had Amy on the phone wondering what in tarnation would have me calling so late. We shared happy tears and giggles over what lay ahead on this journey.
I was thankful for the sign that God sent to us, however, little did we know that the most profound signs were to come AFTER we made the decisions to be Mrs. Nesbit's forever family.
Curious? Check back soon.