bullets

• We inherited an outdoor cat to solve our mouse problems from some friends who moved away.  Our outdoor cat has suddenly become an indoor-sleep-on-Rufus's-bed-22-hours-of-the-day-until-I-put-her-out cat.  My husband likes We like her though. 
• I've decided that my favorite daytime listening Pandora station is "70's easy listening" - there is rarely a song I don't love.  I know, I should work in a doctor's office.
• I'm seeing my sweet Squirt blossom at four and a half years old.  I agonized over the thought of him going to Kindergarten this fall, but now I think he's really ready.
• Two weeks ago a dear friend and I set up a "let's meet for dinner come hell or high water" night.  That night was last night.  It was blissful.  We ate lots of food including fried green tomatoes.  We talked and talked and laughed until the restaurant closed and then we walked to my car, I drove her to her car, and we talked for another 30+ minutes.  I left with a smile on my face.  It was a treat.
• Fifth grade homework sucks.  I hate that projects become MY work and I wind up caring more about his responsibilities than he does.  Then again, I thought that midnight feedings sucked until I was on my third and fourth child and then they were easy.  So maybe fifth grade will be like that.  Or maybe not.
• I hate the school science fair.  Please refer to my previous bullet.
• My kids are so hungry when they come home from school.  Today I have dinner prepared for them at 3:30 so we can eat for real and then a snack later.  I'll report back with how that works.
• One of my older children still wets the bed at night and I've gotten my hands on a "potty pager" to try to train the stubborn child out of the habit.  Last night was the dry run, except it wasn't dry, it was wet, more than once, and he hates wearing it.  I hate pee, so there.
• The first part of January was spent painting Mrs. Nesbit's room, and since we've lived in this house six and a half years and I've been looking at dingy not-so-white walls and ugly light fixtures in my bedroom, I just decided to push on through and paint that room too (which happens to be a rather large bedroom).  Ceiling, trim, walls, outlets, light switches, and light fixtures are all new now.  I was an aching, messy, paint covered, non-showering woman on a mission for an entire week, but it is done and I love it!  Now we are drooling over the thought of new carpet, and I hate to drool.
• Because I know you're wondering, our adoption paperwork is in the final stages and we look on track to leave for China on March 14th.  My waves of anxiety have started regarding our/her transition and I'm clinging to the proven fact that God works good through the hard stuff in life.  Not that I wish it to be hard, but I want more of God for sure, so pretty much I can't lose, right?
• The ski season has been a total BUST so far and I am actually praying for several big, powdery snow storms to crush our little town so that I can frolic on the slopes sufficiently before I bring a precious two year-old home from China.  Have you ever known me to pray for snow?  It's bad, people.

the tough decisions

I'm sitting here on our first snowy morning of the school year.  Yup, you read that right - snow.  Although I'm not really ready to give up flip flops and short sleeves, I know this is the price we pay to live in the mountains and enjoy all the benefits of a ski town.

So, I'm choosing to embrace it.  I have a hot cup of coffee sitting next to my computer and the fireplace is roaring to keep me toasty.

My problem this morning is that I'm also sitting here staring at Sauce's binder that contains his homework that he so diligently worked on yesterday afternoon, and every day for that matter.  He rarely gives me much trouble when requested to complete his homework before having more fun.  He is careful with his answers, has neat handwriting, and generally takes pride in a job well done.

My first instinct was to hop in the car and bring it to him at school.  But, after some internal-parental-decision-making-wrestling, I decided that the only way he won't depend on Mommy to make sure his homework gets to school one way or another is to NOT bring it to him.

Ouch.  You see, this is the first time I've had to do this with my #2. 

Our #1 has been giving us a run for our money for years with things like this.  Last month, when fifth grade grades started streaming in, The Hunter was trying to explain away three zeros on homework assignments and a D+ on a quiz.

My man and I had to make it undeniable that the buck stopped right then and there.  The Hunter is passionate about karate training and he had a quarterly testing event to advance to the next belt color coming up.  It was harder for us than it was for him to miss that testing and remain at his current belt level.

The boy was heartbroken, angry, and embarrassed in front of his karate friends.  It was really hard for us to endure and he tried every way he could think of to change our minds.

Lo and behold, two weeks later we are seeing nothing but A's and an occasional B streaming in.  Admittedly, it has taken much more effort on my part as well.  I'm having to pester him to remember to bring home his homework, review each assignment with a fine tooth comb, make him redo incorrect work, and remind him to actually TURN IN his completed homework.

But, I'm seeing more proactive behavior from him.  He's learning how to succeed and little by little he is developing independence in this area.  It has NOT been easy.  But it HAS been worth it.

So, after reflecting on that victory, I'm expecting Sauce to come home from school upset about forgetting his binder.  I might even get a call from him asking me to bring it in.  But I'm holding out hope that this tiny lesson will reap great profits of personal responsibility for him in the future.

full swing

First day of school pictures are finally up.  This is the last year these three will go to the same school.  Rufus is in first grade, The Hunter is in fifth grade and Sauce is in third grade.

They were literally running to the bus stop.

  Until I made them slow down so we could enjoy the walk together.

With their buddy at the bus stop.

No tears from Squirt this year.  He happily rode home on his bike and enjoyed the day with Mommy.

twas the night before school

Twas the night before school started and all through the house,
Not a boy was stirring because the Melatonin knocked them out.
The backpacks were tossed by the door without care,
With hopes that no homework tomorrow they would bear.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With the memories of sleeping late still stuck in their heads.
And Mom at the counter, and Dad on a trip,
Both prayed hard that all boys will flourish.

When out of the folders that came home from open house,
Came such a stack of papers Mom was forced to fill out.
She found her favorite pen and a comfortable seat
Because filling them all out would be quite a feat.

Names, grades, parents, and allergies,
Phone numbers, addresses, and who to call in emergencies.
Not so bad if it was just one,
But the three copies ruined the fun.

But she made it through every single last page,
Even though her wrist cramped like someone twice her age.
She let the dog in and locked all the doors,
Then prepped for breakfast so they'd be sure to want more.

She then climbed the stairs with the dog right behind,
And checked on each boy with kisses to remind
That these years are short, though days are long for the parentals,
And someday she would look back and be quite sentimental.

She collapsed into bed and gave a big sigh,
And drifted to sleep to a fan turned on high.
But when the alarm rang, she wiped off her drool,
And said, "GET UP SLEEPYHEADS!!!  IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!"

the far side of the moon

That's where I have been.  I've been living life to the full, working hard to keep my priorities straight and make the important things in my life important.  Writing and blogging, although I love them, have fallen off the radar this summer because I want to chill work on my tan take lots of naps make the most of each day with my kids.

I'm sure you all have your hands on your hips in disbelief that I would announce such big news of our adoption and then go dark for weeks on end.  But I'm sure you'll also realize that mountain towns get about 45 days of summer (okay, maybe 50) and we are soaking it up.

In less than three weeks, my mornings will surely look like this:


Well, minus my man cooking breakfast because that is just not his gift and we have all accepted that.  He does bring coffee to my bedside in the mornings though which is key to my day.

Anyhoo, we are still on the adoption paper chase and are waiting on the federal government to issue our I-797, which is will be the last major piece to our dossier to China.  We would be thrilled if we could have it all wrapped up and submitted within the first month of school.

Our boys have been asking what we will name our new sister, and instead of answering them, we have asked them what they think we should name her.  They all have their favorites, but one fairly lively discussion was brought to a gut-busting halt when our comedian Rufus chimed in, "I think we should name her Mrs. Nesbit!"

Exhibit A that my kids have overdosed on Toy Story:


So, until further notice, our daughter waiting in China is lovingly referred to in this family as Mrs. Nesbit.

I will try to be back soon.  But I can't make any promises.

an excellent read

One thing I really enjoy doing with my boys (glasses or no glasses) is reading.  I think it is a no brainer when they are younger because they love any age appropriate children's book.  We have some old favorites, but through about the age of six, we could pull random books off the shelves at the library and they would be happy little bookworms.

The Hunter and Sauce are getting a bit trickier.  Sure, they love the ever popular "Magic Tree House" series as well as "The Boxcar Children."  They will often take these to bed and read to themselves at bedtime.

But I work to stretch them and broaden their horizons.  I like to go to the library by myself and scan the chapter books for something that I know they will really enjoy, but that they wouldn't necessarily choose themselves.

And then, because I know they are going to love a certain book, I read it aloud to them.

I'm selfish like that.

I LOVE to hear their giggles and gasps and, "Oh man!"  I get such enjoyment from the begging for just one more chapter.  I cherish the moments when I'm tucking them in and they ask me who my favorite character is or what I think will happen next.

We just finished reading one of those books that we will likely remember for years to come.

"Because of Mr. Terupt" caught my eye because as I flipped through the 260+ pages, I could see that the chapters were randomly titled with the same seven first names (Peter, Alexia, Luke, Jeffrey, Danielle, Anna, Jessica).  The summary said that the story revolved around one phenomenal fifth grade teacher and seven (very different) students from his class told the story.

I knew that a story led by a creative, enthusiastic teacher would catch my big boys' attention.  They are in the thick of experiencing the ups and downs of classroom learning, both socially and academically.  Often, they will question WHY they must learn a certain concept.  Other times, they will come home with a story of how another student said something mean for no reason at all.

I know that kids can be just plain mean for no reason, but I thought the different points of view would really open my sons' eyes and give them perspective that their fellow students are often more than meets the eye.  Also, I knew they would enjoy the creative and dynamic teacher that Mr. Terupt would prove to be.

I was right.  We finished the book in a grand total of four days.  In every spare moment, they were asking me to read "just one more chapter."  I had to hide the book when we had a babysitter one night because I knew they would finish it without me. 

They laughed out loud at Luke's "dollar word" habit (you'll never guess).  They started out hating Alexia, and then they learned to understand her.  They cracked up at the plant experiment and seeing the principal's wedgie.  All so perfect for elementary boys.

Although we are an in tact family, I know that many of their friends are struggling in broken homes.  I loved the real life "behind the scenes" perspective it gave them on grief, loss, judging others, and freely giving to those who may appear not to have anything to give in return such as special needs kids.

Although painful at times, this story dove into all of those topics without dealing my kids anything that I felt was inappropriate for their ages.  I felt it was so valuable to process through these types of feelings through a fictional experience.

If you have a third grade level reader or above, I emphatically recommend this book.  I was so glad that I didn't just hand it to one of my boys to read alone.  There were so many life lessons and discussion starters and we are all a bit more wise and compassionate because of it.

not for the timid

What I wanted to say:

"Lady, your punk second grader punched my sweet little kindergartener on the bus today.  I took care of business and got in his face and told him to keep his filthy hands to himself.  If he so much as breathes on my son again I will personally show him what it feels like to be punched by someone bigger than him!!!"

What I really said:

"Hi Jane.  This is Laurie from down the street.  How are you?  I just wanted to take a second of your time to let you know that James punched my six year old Rufus in the back while on the bus ride today.  Oh, yes he is fine, no lasting injuries.  I spoke to James at the bus stop and told him that what he did is not okay and he needs to keep his hands to himself and treat others like he wants to be treated... so I was hoping that you could reinforce that at home."

I'm really learning that it takes guts to make people, both children and their parents, accountable for their behavior.  It would have been easier to comfort Rufus and talk to only him about how wrong the boy on the bus was.  It would have been much more simple for me to give him a hug and tell Rufus that he should simply learn from others how NOT to behave.

I hate conflict.  I try to run from it.  It gives me a 20 pound weight in my stomach, shaky appendages, and occasionally shingles.  But I (thanks to my husband's support and encouragement) am not going to let life happen to my boys.

I don't mean that I'm going to protect them from all harm.  I'm not going to drive Rufus to school every day because he got punched on the bus.

But, I can't teach them that they are accountable for their behavior and not hold others accountable for theirs.  It wasn't comfortable for me to call this little boy's mom and tell her what her son did.  But I think the phone call accomplished two things:

1.  My kids know I'm on their side and I will do the tough stuff for them.  If they need me, I'm there.

2.  They know that accountability is consistent.  They are accountable for their behavior because their parents will follow through.

Lastly, this book made a lasting impression on me that it all needs to be done in love.  Rather than avoiding this boy and labeling him as a troublemaker, I made a point of telling him and his mom that we really want to develop a friendship with him and have him over to play.

There are reasons in his life why he did what he did, and the truth is that he needs kids to see the good in him.  He needs adults to shower him with love and attention and invest in him.

And even though I really wanted to throttle him I plan to do just that.

a new normal

A really good new normal.

We are in full school mode and it has been great all around.  I get up well before the kids each morning, but usually by the time I'm getting out of the shower and throwing on some clothes, they are either getting dressed or wandering downstairs to the living room for our Bible time.

Consistent.

Everything has consistency to it right now and I love that!

From our 6:45 Bible time to our friendly bus driver Joe pulling up to our street corner at 7:45, we are falling into a new rhythm.  The boys know what is expected of them, as do I, which makes us all happy.

And there are no complaints.

Although we're still in September and not January, everyone is excited for school and is much more eager to tackle tasks like, say, READING and WRITING, without whining and complaining.

No teeth pulling required.

The trade offs have been that our afternoons are not as relaxed.  I pretty much have to schedule time for the boys to chill and play before homework, soccer, dinner, and bedtime.

When I last blogged, Rufus and Squirt had yet to start their school year.  Rufus took on Kindergarten with gusto and hops on the bus each morning like he's done it every day of his life.

He did happen to start Kindergarten with a shiner though.  If he only would have listened to me about not running and jumping in a shoe store, he never would have taken a face plant into an ottoman... poor thing.

Smiling with Joe, our happy bus driver who gives us the added benefit of returning to us all the stuff our kids forget on the bus.

That very same day, Squirt went and became a big boy and started preschool.

 

Not even a, "Bye mom!  I'll miss you!  Can't you stay with me because I'm your baby?  Here, I'll shed a tear or two to make you feel better."  Nope, plopped on the rug and loved every minute of it.

Lots of people asked me what I was going to do with my very first morning with no kids at home.  I told them what I told my Beloved.

I'm getting a 60 minute massage for time served.

Then I went and ate lots of bon bons.  Because that's all I do now.

yellow school bus day

During the last couple of years I could be often heard saying, "It's a yellow school bus day!"  That meant that home schooling was particularly challenging that day.

Today was the real deal.  My fourth grader The Hunter and my second grader Sauce started school today.   And all the anticipation we've been feeling for weeks and months ended.

We had a great morning.  Mom woke up before everyone else due purely to nerves so I could get showered and ready first.  We woke up the boys at 6:45 and they hopped right up and got dressed in the clothes they excitedly laid out last night.

We then huddled up with blankets in our chilly living room for our family Bible time.  We took this recommendation from the book "Going Public" by David and Kelli Pritchard.  We've been reading together on and off all summer, but plan to do this every morning before school from here on out.  Five Psalms and one chapter of Proverbs each morning.

It's so fun to hear the examples that the boys apply to God's word.  There is truth at every maturity level.

Then they all hopped up to the breakfast bar and devoured some cereal.  I ushered them upstairs to get hair combed and teeth brushed.  We took the lunches that I made last night out of the refrigerator and put them in their backpacks and headed off for the bus.

A couple of neighbors were gathered at the end of our street waiting for our bus driver Joe.

Unfortunately, Squirt is three-going-on-seven and thought he was going with his brothers on the cool school bus.

Not so, youngling.

I didn't want to cry in front of the neighbors need to cry with all the tears that Squirt was spilling.  But I caught my Beloved choked up as the bus doors closed.